It's March 23, officially Spring but flippin' Florida's ridiculousness isn't showing it. Much. It's been warm off and a couple days, but primarily unseasonably chilly. (God. Who says primarily? I didn't even notice I said that...)
Anyway, I wasn't planning on talking about the weather. My blog topics (blopics?) are so dull! I talk about actual blogging (like right now (actually, much better word based on a cool prefix: metablogging. For those unenlightened by (Greek? Latin?) prefix-ish knowledge, meta refers to something that is about itself, or refers to itself. Like metapoetry would be poetry about poetry, metahumour is humour about humor, or the joke itself, metaphysics would be physics that is about physics (which it all sorta is, in a way...), metablogging means blogging about blogging. I should change the name of my tag on here...)) (Too many parenthesis, as usual), I talk about the weather, about TV shows and websites. The point of this entry was to say "I'm not dead yet." I have been trying to keep up at least one entry per month, and my last was around (if not on) the first of February, which feels like a long time ago (for many unhappy reasons), so I figured I would do my March one before it's too late. You see, yesterday (Monday) I had Driver's Ed. 'till 8:30pm, today I had band 'till 8:30 as well, tomorrow Driver's Ed. 'till 9, Thursday will be frantic homework day (I DESPISE YOU, ELEPHANT!), Friday I get out of school early to go to a competition from which we will return around 2:30am (joy), then go to March of Dimes at 7ish, then a concert on Sunday, then the research project is due Monday. After that I will collapse and die from exhaustion. Sometime around that time it will be April, and I will have "missed the window." So yeah. I'm a busy gal.
Anyway, I'm still around to bestow unwanted personal deets on y'all. Just for a short while today/tonight. I'll be taking requests. Just kidding. Goodness gracious I've already gone mad. Well, since I have received no requests, here some unleashing of TMI. A lot of the people who I used to be very close friends with have lives, and seem to be changing before my eyes. I don't really have a specific group of friends anymore. I have the motley lunch group, I have people in each of my classes to talk to, not much overlap there. There's nothing wrong with my current crowd; I just feel like I am less close to them then I have been with others in the past. Some past friends are being corrupted by the company of others (If you're reading this, it's probably not you, so don't worry), some are being changed not in a good or bad way, just different, by others, and some may have been different all along and I just never noticed. The further I go in life, the less I think that others are like me. Now, I'm not being emo here, or being egotistical. I'm just stating my realizations as I have had them. My brain is odd, I think I've always known that. But I've been discovering how hard it is for me to relate on a deeper level then small talk with anyone. I don't know if my character has been fleshed out by the author of life and my personality has become more complex, or my perception has just become less cloudy and I am realizing the truth. But either way, I don't feel fulfilled. I do think I a lot like other in some ways that I haven't been in the past; I have become more stereotypically teenagery, in that I care what people think a lot of the time. I sometimes worry that I am unsatisfactory, even though that goes against my personal philosophy concerning individuality. Also, my romantic life is nonexistent as ever, and although that shouldn't concern me, my pubescent emotions are running rampant and I have no choice in the loneliness I often feel, romantically. I would have no idea how to start or maintain a relationship, but I see everyone around me pairing up, breaking up, and pairing anew, and I just feel outside of that whole system. Also, I don't have the time to do anything like that. In other news, I'm reall ysleepy (see! I keep doing that.) but I have loads to do. Bluhglub
1 comment:
we need to hang out and have a talk fest! XD
Post a Comment